The "L" world
More often than not, the word "gay" is immediately associated only with the male homosexuals, leaving the lesbians slightly out of the spotlight. But underneath the lesbians' seemingly discreet lifestyles lies a world with a rich and unique culture.
Who's who?
"There are two types of lesbians," says Helen Bonanza, a veteran guidance counselor and gender development specialist in Claret High School. "We have the butch lesbian who evidently distinguishes herself as a man and the femme lesbians who still choose to look like real women."
Nicky*, a junior, can be considered a traditional butch lesbian who is in a relationship with a femme. "I believe in the fact that lesbianism is not black and white," she says. "It's a continuum whose extremities...should live harmoniously together as it has traditionally been."
Femme Ateneans Polly*, a sophomore, and Izzie*,a junior, think otherwise. For them, discrimination towards the stereotypical butch-femme relationship is a thing of the past. "Other people tend to dislike the butch lesbian because she can easily be identified as a female homosexual," Polly explains.
As for Izzie, she clarifies that she doesn't hate the butch lesbians per se. It's just that being a femme gives her more freedom to live and form relationships with other femmes without being deliberately judged.
Eve and Eve
Much like the male homosexuals, lesbians have their unique way of searching for partners. If most gay men today use online networking services like Guys4Men.com, female homosexuals do their networking personally.
"It's easier if you have [a] barkada," Polly says. In her opinion, being a lesbian is trickier than being a gay man. "You have to find your color, blend in with that particular group, and adhere to their lifestyle and relationship customs,"
Particularly in college, the dating culture of lesbians is rather similar to the straights, but with a twist. "We categorize women according to colors," reveals sophomore butch athlete Cathy*, "blue for the butch, pink for the femme, purple for the bisexuals, and white for the straights."
Call it lesbian color coding—its main purpose is not for branding but to save them from the taboo of asking what a woman's real sexual preference is exactly called. This exchange of vital information serves as the springboard of relationship among lesbians, whether their colors would match for either just friendship or romantic love.
Another atypical trend in most lesbian relationships is the switching of partners within a single barkada. "We just move around our people," Polly says. "Kaunti lang naman kasi kami at mas kaunti pa kapag one color na lang ang nagsama-sama at nagligawan (We are just small in number and we are even fewer when women of one color come together and court each other)."
"It is common among lesbians to find their lovers just within their circle of friends," explains Bonanza. "Between the male and female homosexuals, the lesbians are more marginalized; thus, they are considered as a minority."
Polly admits that such a set-up can stir controversies and conflicts between barkada members. Nonetheless, most lesbians will opt to choose the value of friendship over a love triangle dilemma with her gay peers. "Well, being gay is being open-minded," adds Polly.
Which is which?
Indeed, lesbianism has its own face, which society can now slowly start to recognize and understand much clearer. But more than the prejudice from the heterosexuals that may contest its full emancipation and acceptance, it is the dominance of the male homosexuals that could actually pose as the real threat.
"Media doesn't portray lesbianism as something bad or degrading except in terms of exposure, the gay men have already surpassed us," explains Nicky. "Even though male ho-mosexuality has its respective negative criticisms, the positive support it gets from the society outweighs the other one."
She thinks that the lesbians are less exposed compared to the gay men, especially in the media. "It would be better if they also notice that lesbians can contribute something good to the society as well," Nicky adds.
On the other hand, other lesbians like Polly and Izzie view this as something that is to their advantage.
"It's selfish, but it takes the light off of me, and puts it on somebody else," Polly confesses. "I guess if someone would discriminate against a gay person, it wouldn't be immediately me since I am the girl; it would be the gay guy. It's an advantage for me."
"Being out of the spotlight is okay for me since media tends to portray homosexuals as people who are different and inferior beside the heterosexuals," Izzie says. "At least, the image of the lesbians is somehow more protected than that of the male homosexuals."
Either way, this battle between the male and female homosexual is just a small part of the bigger picture. At the end of the day, both parties are still homosexuals who are striving to prove their worth and place in society.
The lesbians might have chosen a life of discretion, but their identity and concerns are undoubtedly beginning to surface. Whether they are open to a more exposed way of living, they surely have something to offer: their "L" world.
*Names have been changed to protect the individuals.
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